Damia Dear

I've seen them whispering on a few occasions, but I just brushed it off. Conspiracy? Between a Mak Long and her niece? How dangerous can it be? Am I jealous? Of course not. There's nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, I like it when they are close. At least, if one day I decided to run away from home (I mean it!), my daughter will have somewhere to go. (Emotional!?.. Pehh..!)

And two days ago, finally I knew what the "conspiracy" is all about. And I am so.... touched. Really touched. All the whispering is about a niece's heartfelt desire to start praying and for the Mak Long to get a telekung for her. She did mentioned her desire to me a few times. I have been on the look out for a child's telekung but to no avail. But I kept it in mind to still be on the look out. I didn't know that she went to her Mak Long with God-knows-what story.

So, when the Mak Long came with the much desired telekung a big smile came to her face. She was elated. Immediately she tried it and posed for her Mak Long. She kissed and hugged her Mak Long expressing her Big Thank You. Thank you Along! We love you :-)

That was two days ago. Since then my daughter has been praying except for Subuh. Maybe I am not that strong as I did not wake her up when I perform my early morning prayer. And now, we are practising the recitation. I know it will take a long time before she reached perfection but I will perservere. I want to thank her as well. To be frank since she started praying, she makes me pray much earlier than usual. Oh... how I love my daughter. It is soo... true when the saying goes "you are learning from your children". Damia,... Damia Dear.

A Daughter's Worry

My daughter refused to go to school the other day. She is only 5 year old going to a kindi which teaches using the Montessori method. When I asked her why (it is a three-hour per day class, anyway) she told me with a frown so big spoiling her otherwise smooth forehead giving the impression of shouldering the worries of the world, "I can't catch up with the others - I just could not find all the shells which the teacher asked us to count in the picture given to me". For a moment it startled me. Since I do not know the real situation which sum up to this conclusion of hers, I repress my comment. After all, I have been trying to instil in my children not to be judgmental. So, I just kissed both her cheeks, hugged her and told her that she will not know what she will miss if she didn't turn up at school that day. With that I took her hand in mine and walked to her school (only about 2 - 3 minutes walk away).

Since we are still early and the teacher is quite free I told her about my daughter's worry. She laughed and she told me "Your daughter is doing fine. But she is a perfectionist. It worries her when what she did is not similar with the others, or when what she arrived at is different from her friends." I left not knowing whether I should feel relieved or otherwise. Should I be relieved when my five-year old wanted to be a perfectionist? Shouldn't she be enjoying her much too young age? Shouldn't she just be a child without worries about being competitive? At that age, she shouldn't be pushing herself too hard. Then, I tried to do some self-searching - am I involved in moulding her into thinking that she has to be the best? is there anytime when we are together that what I may have said became the impetus of making her think that she has to push herself harder each time? If I did then I have to re-do it now and soon. Though I can't think of any situation which may lead to this perception of hers, I can't help feeling sorry for her.

All I want is for her to enjoy her childhood. To have sweet memories of happy moments with her doting parents who love her sooo... very much. To not think of striving to be the best,... yet. In short, to enjoy being a five year old. Though she could not get everything she wants, she has a very loving and supportive home (we are just normal parents - she does get the scolding when she's over the board). She has parents whom she can always talk to with just about anything and everything, parents who do not judge her, parents who embrace her no matter she can count shells correctly or not, parents who celebrate her joys and grieved through her sadness.

Today, I am going to tell her that she is such a wonderful daughter regardless of what she may have felt about herself and that her parents love her oodles & oodles & oodles & oodles.......