Monday, May 23, 2011

Here They Are...

I have two sets of children - the going pre-teens and the kids. Well, I don't know if there are such classifications but there are 4 years gap between the younger pre-teen and the elder kid. If there is one thing that I found I am not "quite getting at yet" with my two sets is communication.  No! Don't get me wrong - We are very close to our children but somehow their jargons make us feel so lost and of course, old.

The other day after a few cuddles, I asked Aqil, "are you my Baby?", Danish butted in and said "No, he's not, he is a dude!" "No, he's not - he's actually still a toddler - a 60 months old baby if you like." I said. "No! I am not a toddler! I am a kid!" declared the kid in question. "I don't care," I said, "you will still be my Baby - all of you are my babies!" Hakim apparently couldn't take it anymore,"Oh shush Ibu, get a life..!" in what he called his "grown-up" voice. You see what I mean?

A few months back we watched Shutter Island.  I was saying, "Why do they have to go through that hassle of getting to the island by boat? Can't they just hop on a helicopter?" To which Damia said, "Helicopter is not invented yet during that time." You see? Now who's the mother? I used to be the one giving that line to her.

Last week, Danish accompanied me to the office so that he can enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet - to revise for his Science test.  around 4.00 pm my collegue Aidil announced, "It's already 4 hours.I am leaving shortly." To which I responded,"Funny how our hypothalamus works - somehow it is set to 4 hours, and we sort of "not here" anymore - our in-built alarm clock is working it seems". Of course Danish added, "I thought hypothalamus is your wake up system". "No it does not only just do that!" I defended myself. "I learn that at school Ibu" "Oh yes, and I took Biology as one of my subjects in my Degree" (Mum can be so sad nowadays especially in the defensive department).  "OK. Let's google it." And as it is of course it says among others,

Quote."The main function of the hypothalamus is homeostasis, or maintaining the body's status quo. Factors such as blood pressure, body temperature, fluid and electrolyte balance, and body weight are held to a precise value called the set-point. Although this set-point can migrate over time, from day to day it is remarkably fixed" Unquote.

Well, I rest my case.  Yesterday, we have a skype session with my Mum and many of my nieces and nephews and their children.  It is a very happy occasion.  It is a relief to see one's Mum looking happy and we  talked about nothing - well, if you asked me, I can't really remember anything very serious in our conversation.  We let the children sing for their Granny and told her things they did at school, showing her their certificates won at school.  Oh yes, we were also discussing some business proposals with my nephew, Said. Well, I hope he didn't forget the research that he has to undertake.

Everything went well until Danish blurted to his cousin, Khansa' (to be frank, both of them are fond of each other, hence the frequent teasing between them!), "language, Khansa', language" said him.  "what did I say wrong?" asked Khansa'. "You are an English teacher, c'mon, you know where you make your mistake." Danish kept on, Finally, not taking it anymore, Khansa' just blurted out,"Damn you!" And we take it in good manner. "You are sick, Khansa'" said Danish,... another of their jargon. "Sick?" To which I have to butt in. "It means, Cool, Khansa. It gets into my nerves when they first use that word. Not a single connection, but that's it!"

Hmmm... I am not sure really whether how I tackle the "language" problem with my kids are right.  But we are always very close with our children.  We talk about everything - though sometimes the topic are not to my taste, but I get along. I want soo... much to be their Mum and at the same time their friend.  I want them to come to me first when they encounter any of those teenage problem or problems... such, I have to instill in them the feelings that they can trust me. To build this, I need to understand them and to be in constant communication with them.  Praise to the Al-Mighty for all parents who has done the right thing in bringing up their children.  It is a hard hard work.

Till then.

(Sources of images : cartoon from Wikiedu; hypothalamus from psychedu; lavender with bumblebee from

Saturday, May 14, 2011

City? Nope!

Many times I was asked why do I not move down to London.  I put in long hours, I have 4 schooling children and by staying where I am now, the journey to and fro can take around 3 to 31/2 hours each day.

Well, my answer will always be I cannot afford to live in London. This will normally be followed by, "But the fare is expensive, isn't it?". To which I answered, "Yes it is but still, expensive it may be, when I add all my core expenses like my rental, council tax, utility bills, my broadband, tv license, etc,..., it is still much cheaper than staying in London".  But sometimes other questions will follow, "But if you move here, there will be more opportunities for your husband to get a job" to which I almost asked, "and who will take care of my children, then?" which I didn't.

Anyway, there are many reasons why I do not want to stay too close to the City other than it simply is beyond my means.  Sometimes I also wonder, why can't people just mind their own business without prying into others.  My choice of where to stay has nothing to do with them and I sometimes wonder if I  were to follow their suggestion to move down, will they contribute to some of my monthly expenses? I know they will never ask me again if I do that but well,...

Come back to the main issue.  Our house is basically close to everything - By everything, it means a GP, a pharmacy, grocery store, schools (nursery, junior and secondary), laundry, chippy (during emergency), two convenient stores, a charity shop (most important to satisfy my reading desire), a large park - all these within 5 to 10 minutes walk.  And when at other places, it is difficult to set an appointment to meet a GP, here, we can simply call in the morning and normally we are already sitting in front of the GP at around 10.00 a.m or 11 a.m at most, same day.  So why should I leave?

Yes, I admit, there are times when the thought of having to endure the one hour or so journey home after a long day (errr... night) is sooo... daunting and discouraging but still, it is a very minor problem.

To be frank, among the more important reason is that I am simply not a "City" person.  I enjoy a peace and quite setting (like a library? my daughter asked). I couldn't really stand the hustle and bustle of the City. To me, it is all right as a "work" place but not a "stay" place.  But that doesn't mean I do not like civilisation. Those are two different things.

Like last week, as per every Sunday we went to a Car Boot sale.  Not the one at Leighton Buzzard as it is closed due to the forecasted heavy rain.  So, we went to the one in Tring, Aylesbury somewhere in Buckinghamshire about 30 minutes away- oh I just love the countryside with trees lining the road and farms along the way - it is heavenly to me when I see miles and miles of rapeseed, acres and acres of sheep farms.  We stopped at the Wilstone Reservoir and enjoy the peaceful scenery, we dropped by Burbourton and walked along the canal with narrow boats moored by its sides. It may not be everyone's cup of tea but it is for us or at least it is for me).

Sources of images : canal boat from; poppy anemone from