On Being Parents

I am sure most of us are aware of the couple being charged with abusing their children in Sweden. Since, a lot of positive and negative reactions were given either through the formal or informal channels. Well, I am not going to make any comments on that for I do not know them personally and I think it is very unfair for those who do not know them to make any comments especially negative ones. We do not know what happened exactly. But what I believed is, at this crucial moment the couple and their children need our prayers for the best outcome. Anyway, who are we to judge?

It is not easy being parents. I know for sure as I am one. All parents wanted the best for their children. Wanted them to be perfect, almost - at times forgetting that they are also human who make mistakes. But let us all be real. We can only do the best we could and the rest is up to them. We cannot protect them at all times and we cannot expect them to be the angels we wish them to be for they are not.

I do not believe in caning. Excuse my limited knowledge but through what I learned, Islam approved of cane to be a symbol in disciplining the children and not to be used if possible. Even when it has to be used it must be with the gentle stroke in areas which will not inflict pain. Islam never teaches its followers to resort to violence. It saddened me when islam approval of caning when children refused to pray at the age of ten were seen as barbaric by others who do not really understand the principle behind it.

One article contributed by Prof. Muhammad Hashim Kamali awhile ago caught my interest. He mentioned that "Abu'l Hasan al-Qabisi (an author, d. 1012), wrote that the best approach to discipline was to communicate with the child, with kindness and concern, in an effort to identify the causes of the issue and try to appeal to the child's understanding. For the child, despite his immaturity, is a human endowed with the gift of reason and the ability to know the causes of things. One should not mix anger and emotion in the decision to cane".

Wallahua'lam.


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On a mission....

We sent Danish to his new school on Feb. 5, 2014. Mia and Aqil refused to go to school that day to send their beloved brother. I tried to be very brave and tried harder not to cry in front of him (though I must admit I was teary on the way home).

Home is never the same again. There's somehow a feeling of emptiness - a space too much. I hope the feeling will ease away bit by bit as I know he will be alright. He wanted to go to boarding school. He wants to be independent. And Alhamdulillah he secured a place in a very good school.

Though I know the chance is slim for him to call that night, I secretly waited for his call. It never came. Gladly he called on the following night at around 11. I was already going to sleep.

"Danish?"

"Salam Ibu. Thank you for picking up the phone. I don't have much time, Ibu. Just to let you know I'm fine. I've made a few friends and the Form 5 seniors are kind too."

"Ok Darling. I am glad you are ok. I've been waiting for your call."

"I know Ibu. But don't worry. I like this school, Ibu. Ibu, I can go out this Saturday."

"Alright Darling. We'll be there after Baba finished work, ok? What time can we pick you up?"

"After 12.00 until 6.00, Ibu."

"Ok Darling. We'll see you then. Anything you need from here?"

"Just your prayers, Ibu. Ok Ibu, I have to go now. I love you."

"I love you very much. Take care." And the line went off.

Last night he called saying that there was a change of plan. He was not allowed to go out but we can visit him at school. So today, we will go visit him. I want to see for myself that he truly is settling down alright.

Happy Saturday everyone.