I have just completed cleaning everything when there's a loud shriek from my daughter and "Crash!!!". I kept rooted to my position - part wanting to know what's happening; part hoping that whatever it is will just disappear. "Ibu...! Aqil broke the mug again!!!" came the announcement. I took a deep breath. There we go again...! I forced myself to where the commotion was. True enough. Broken glasses everywhere, tea everywhere as well. I am done with "What happened?" and "Didn't I tell you not to...". Those words somehow do not register well to young ears. And if I let myself became angry, it will only add to my blood level - nothing can be accomplished either. In order not to let the spilt tea spread further I quickly got to work. Before that was done, "Ibu, I want tea..?" said Aqil, the cause of the commotion. "I want to eat." said Mia. "I am so... hungry I feel like dying. School is so... hard work..!" she continued. "I want to eat too.." chipped in Aqil. Right. Their request fufilled. Thought I can have some time for myself. But no... Aqil finished eating and most of the food I gave him is everywhere on the floor. Hmm... Well, this is just a tiny sample of the never-ending tasks that a stay-at-home Mom has to endure. I haven't got into the bickering-every-10-minutes kind of thing yet.When I first became a stay-at-home Mom last July 07, I tried to handle everything making sure everything is spick & span and in order. I became upset when things did not turn out as I expected. I yelled at my children when they spill anything, when they "express-themselves-clearly" on the white walls with the help of blue and red markers and some magic colours - then, I realised. Yelling does not help improve matters. What's done is done. No matter if I yelled myself hoarse or getting hospitalised later for swollen tonsil or whatever, I still have to put things back together again. So, I decided that there will be no more yelling. We just go through our daily life as it comes.
But, there are moments when I wish I can just escape. And I created my own imaginery world. The Secret Dreamworld of A Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, whenever I feel like I cannot take it anymore - when my children are really trying my patience, when I can somehow feel that the blood in each of my cells are almost rising to the boiling point, I take a deep breath and leave. I will go to my room, lock it and turn on the aircond. Then I took my "journey" to my secret "dreamworld" - sometimes I imagine myself in a beautiful cottage surrounded by a beautiful garden full of peonies of all colours; sometimes I am drinking a frothy latte with cinnamon sprinkled on top in a beautiful sidewalk country cafe; sometimes I am just sitting by the river banks watching the water flows by; 
However, my world will be awaken not long after I deposited myself into my room. There'll be a knock on the door "Ibu! Ibu! I'm sorry, Ibu. I love you!" With that, my anger will melt away. I will switch off the aircond and unlock my door. Once opened, one or two of them will be there running to me, hugging & kissing me. That's the end of my journey. Until I take another trip.Well, with kids, you can never really be angry for long.
From left : Aqil, Danish, Mia & Hakim - My 3 Gentlemen & A Lady(Note : Source of images - Roses from www.mooseyscountrygarden.com; english cottage fr www.miss-thrifty.co.uk and Silver River in Cadamstown, Ireland from en.wikipedia.org)
v interesting post here. kids, they are just lovely & always so naughty. But just imagine yr world without them.......no never,it's better to have them around.
ReplyDeleteDear Bluesman,
ReplyDeleteYou are very right there. That's why I tried so hard not to let out my anger on them. Anyway the most I can be in my Dreamworld is about 3 minutes, perhaps?
A 3 minutes escape into a dreamworld is more than sufficient to ease off yr mind. Parent needs to escape sometimes as the kids these days my, it's a big challenge to raise them unlike the kids of yester years.
ReplyDeleteYou are right there. I haven't yet mention my eldest who are in his pre-teen. Don't know if they think it's cool or something but every question I asked will be answered with a shrug and a "lemme think about it" which makes you feel like spanking him hard on the back (at other tomes you just feel like shaking him all over). But, I haven't yet. It's really trying. I'm still hanging on...
ReplyDeleteJust be patient but sometimes spanking does help in discplining the boys.
ReplyDeleteDear Bluesman,
ReplyDeleteI'll see what I can do with it first. If it continues, I'll do just that. (:-D